


Patton Giving Love

by ziallwarrior



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Familial DLAMP, Gen, I will be adding any warnings on chapters, Insecurity, PTSD, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Run Away, characters belong to thomas, sympathetic deceit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-28 13:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15049691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziallwarrior/pseuds/ziallwarrior
Summary: Patton had a tough childhood and adulthood, but he kept moving on with his life. Now, he has four adopted sons that he loves and would protect no matter what happens. Life isn't easy at the Sanders household.  There are many shenanigans happening, but they all love each other.Life throws many challenges towards him, but with the help of his friends and his sons being his motivation, Patton knows he will survive.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first major Sanders Sides story. The only relationship would most likely be Deceit/Remy, the rest is brotherly/familial. I will announce if any changes. Hope you like it
> 
> TW: Past Child Abuse, yelling, cursing, therapy mention

_“You pathetic idiot! Get to cleaning that kitchen right now!”_

_Patton shot up and ran down to the kitchen, tripping over his feet. He had fallen asleep after coming home from school and lost track of time. He avoided his father’s glare as he shakily started washing the dishes. Patton didn’t look at his mother, who was just cooking dinner for his father and her. He would end up eating any scraps left behind._

_“Shouldn’t have fallen asleep,” His mother chastises him._

_“You could have woken me up,_ **_mother_** _,” Patton snaps back her, not caring for her at all._

_He would leave this house one day and never look back, no matter how much the guilty feeling of that thought clawed at his stomach._

* * *

Patton shot up from the bed and was panting pretty hard, looking down at his hands and saw he was bigger. He wasn’t a scrawny teenager anymore, he was an adult who had a good paying job.

_'It’s okay, Pat. You’re away from there forever. Remember that Emile says that I have to breathe or I start to lose my train of thought’_

Patton takes deep breaths and touches his bed, then his phone, his lamp and bedside table. He nods slowly once he reassures himself. He lies back down, trying to get more sleep when he hears a crash and yelling.

_‘All I ask for is five more minutes!’_

Once again, he tries to sleep but he hears that he is being called on. Patton groans and gets out of bed, walking out and down the stairs to hear even more yelling. Once he reaches the noise, he sees that Logan and Declan are arguing, Roman is recording, while Virgil is sitting on the table with his knees up to his chest.

“Now what is going on here?” Patton asks, putting on his ‘dad’ voice which seems to quiet the arguing.

“It was Declan!” “It so **wasn’t** Logan!”

They both point at each other, soon glaring at each other and once again were arguing with each other. Roman once again was laughing as he recorded them, Virgil just got off the table and walked over to Patton, hugging him tightly. Patton knew by then that it was becoming too much for him.

“Guys,” Patton sighs as he tried to get their attention but was ignored. Well, here goes nothing, he thinks as he covers Virgil’s ears, “GUYS!”

He watched how they both quiet down immediately, meaning that they knew there could be possible trouble.

“Roman, what happened?” He asks softly, rubbing Virgil’s back.

“Well…” Roman giggles then got serious once more, “Logan was accusing Declan of stealing his cereal, again, even though he didn’t do it. I know because I even recorded Logan, once again, sleepwalking to the kitchen and sleep eating,” He ends up explaining and plays the video, confirming everything he said.

“Logan, you shouldn’t accuse just like that. Also, what was that crash?” Patton asks, looking at them all.

“That was my headphones falling from the table,” Virgil mumbles against his chest, “I didn’t feel like picking them up.”

“Oh, alright. Don’t forget about them,” Patton tells him and looks at Logan, “apologize to your brother, now. He was right all along.”

“HA!” Declan smirked and smacked Logan in the head.

“Ow!” Logan glares at him and sighs, “Fine, I’m sorry,” He mumbles, hating being wrong.

“I **don’t** accept your apology,” Declan smiles and walks back to the kitchen.

Patton sighs in relief once everything was solved, surprised how quick it was. He kissed Virgil’s forehead, looking down at him and saw how relaxed he looked.

“It’s all calm now. Let’s get some food in you before you head off to school,” He whispers to him, feeling his nod on his chest. Virgil reluctantly pulls away, going to take his usual seat while Patton prepared his breakfast.

Patton watched how his sons served themselves whatever breakfast they made, chattering between each other and throwing around playful insults, mostly Declan and Roman. Patton interrupted them a few times when it got heavy, giving them a warning look while he made sure Virgil ate his breakfast. They included Virgil every now and then, being careful with him when it came to playful insults. Only Roman could say it to him since he and Virgil had a hate-love sibling relationship. Either way, they would both protect each other until the end of the world.

Patton smiled at all of them, telling them to go get dressed after breakfast while he prepared their lunch. They all ran off, playfully shoving each other around as they went up the stairs. The silence was peaceful at the moment, Patton sighing happily.

_‘I love them all, but they are a handful at times.’_

He thought back to how they all came here, one by one, each of them having a dark cloud over their head. It was difficult for each of them to get used to a new life, but time and care helped them. Patton looked at the calendar and saw that Virgil had an appointment with Emile this afternoon, while Roman had his right after school. Patton must have drifted off, as a sudden noise made him jump.

“Dad?” Virgil asks, looking at him as he picked up his headphones, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah I’m fine,” Patton smiles at him and nods, “Just got distracted I guess. Are you ready?” He asks him, fixing up his lunch bag.

“Yeah. I got to the bathroom before De or Roman. They’re fighting at the moment on who gets the shower.”

“They have another one near their room,” Patton rolls his eyes and sighs, looking at Virgil’s bracelet, “Are your pronouns he and him today?”

Virgil nods and smiles at Patton, making Patton’s heart swell at the sight. Virgil’s smile was such a sight, he wanted a museum full of pictures of him. Patton has Virgil wait for him in the living room while he got ready.

Once upstairs, he told the boys to calm down and to each go into their respective bathrooms. They grumbled under their breaths but listened to him either way. Patton shuts the door once in his room, sighing softly and got dressed for the busy day.

_‘Let this be an easy day, please lord.’_

He took a deep breath, shaking off the uneasy feeling he’s been having recently. Glasses were on regular attire on also, everything was as it should be. Patton walked out of his room, going downstairs and had all the boys gather in the living room, giving them the usual money in case they wanted a snack.

“Please behave, guys,” Patton tells them and kisses their foreheads, each having a different reaction.

Roman just smiled and nodded, Declan blushed and faked gagged, Logan just wiped it off but had a smile, and Virgil was just smiling. Seems like it was going to be a good day for him.

“Roman, you have your appointment right after school, so I will pick you up early. The school has been notified, so just wait in the parking lot for me,” Patton reminds him, “Virgil, yours is much later. Emile says he has a surprise for you. Declan, Logan, I imagine Remy will pick you up today right?”

Before either answered, there was a knock on the door. Patton answered and chuckled as he saw Remy, standing there in his usual attire, Starbucks in hand.

“Morning Remy,” Patton smiles.

“Morning to you, Patton,” He greets him, moving his sunglasses to his head, “I’m here to pick up your beautiful sons if only one would agree to go out with me,” He sighs dreamily.

“In your dreams, Remy,” Declan scoffed, grabbing his backpack and waved to Patton.

“Why do you even try?” Logan asked, rolling his eyes and waved back to Patton also.

“Maybe one day, Remy,” Patton laughed and handed him a lunch bag also, “I made sure to put in your favorite snack.”

“You are a godsend, adopt me also,” Remy sighs happily, “But then I wouldn’t be able to try and win over the small snake.”

“Get my boys to school and be safe out there,” Patton chuckles and waves at Remy as he leaves with the other two, “Now, Roman, Virgil, are you ready?”

“Yes, dad.” “Yes, padre!”

Patton nods and grabs his keys and wallet, having them walk out to the car while he locked the house. He made sure it was locked and walked towards the boys, smiling as Roman and Virgil seemed to be discussing something. He didn’t want to interrupt them, seeing that it was rare for Virgil to be so awake at this hour. Seems like Roman was taking advantage of that, smiling at his brother. Patton started the drive to Roman’s school first, seeing as it was closer but also because he knew Virgil liked being last.

“Bye padre!” Roman says as he gets out of the car, going towards his friends who were waiting for him.

“Wanna come up front, Virgil?” Patton asks, looking at Virgil, who nods and moves up quickly, buckling it, “Now, let’s get you to school.”

They had a silent drive to school, Patton humming softly as he listened to Virgil’s music. The uneasy feeling started to return and he tensed up slightly, hating how it wouldn’t leave him. He hoped Virgil wouldn’t notice, but he was being vigilant and did.

“Dad, you’ve been tense since you came downstairs. Are you sure you’re okay?” Virgil asks, concern in his voice.

“I’ve just been feeling uneasy, but it’s probably because I’ve been having trouble with one of the kids down at the center,” Patton says and shrug, making a turn, “Don’t worry about me, Virge. You just worry about you, but also, you seem very chirpy today. Have a good night's sleep?” He asks, wanting to change the topic.

“I did,” Virgil blushes and moves his bangs aside, “Dr. Picani’s technique about me sleeping with soft music seems to be working. He also recommended I write down my feelings if I don’t want to talk about or draw it out.”

“Well, I’m very proud of you son,” Patton smiles and parks the car when they arrived at his school, looking at Virgil, “You’ve come a long way, you know? You make me proud every day.”

“Dad, stop,” Virgil blushes even more and opens the door, “I have to get going.”

“Of course! Have a good day at school, and if anything, text me,” Patton says and waves at Virgil when he leaves, smiling softly.

Patton drove off to his work soon after, glad that he was able to divert the conversation. He didn’t like involving his kids in his problems. It would become unhealthy and a lot to carry on their shoulders.

_‘Well, here goes another day of kids wanting to ignore me.’_

He parked his car once he arrived at his job, grabbing his stuff and walked into the center. It was a normal day for him, and he was able to make progress with a few of the kids. Patton left early, needing to pick up Roman for his appointment. He texted Logan, asking him to ask Remy if he could pick up Virgil also since he wouldn’t be able to. Patton drove to the school, biting his lip as he felt something was off once again.

_‘What the fuck is this feeling? I need to get rid of it.’_

Patton arrived and drove to where Roman was, but something seemed off about him also. Patton squinted and saw he was talking to some older guy, old enough to be a grandfather. Patton’s parental instincts kicked in and he honked the horn, making both of them jump. He waved Roman over, to which he nodded and ran over to him, getting in the passenger’s seat quickly. Patton quickly drove off, wanting to get away from the old guy.

“Roman, I’ve always said that the number one rule is to never talk to strangers! What was he saying to you?!” Patton asked, slightly angry but more concerned than anything.

“He…” Roman swallows thickly and looks at Patton, “He says he’s my grandfather, dad.”

“What?” Patton tenses up, gripping the steering wheel.

“I was waiting for you...and this guy comes up to me. He asked for my name and I ignored him, ready to run in just in case,” Roman explained, “I knew you would be there soon, so I gave him a fake name. He told me that he knew I was lying and asked me if I knew you, and I just lied again. Then you came and you honked the horn and I ran over.”

Patton was quiet and tense the whole time as he drove to Roman’s appointment, his mind firing many things towards him. He looked at Roman, who seemed pretty pale compared to his tan complexion.

“You did well with lying, Ro. I’m happy you lied,” Patton says and holds his hand, trying to comfort him, “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”

They arrived and Patton went in with Roman and he waited outside for him. After the appointment, Patton thanked his therapist and Roman seemed less tense. They drove home, both wanting to eat something after this ordeal.

When they got home, they saw that Logan was outside arguing with the same guy. Patton kept thinking it couldn’t be his father since it looked nothing like him. He parked the guy quickly and ran over to them.

“Who are you?” Patton asks angrily.

“Why, Pattycake, you wouldn’t forget about your father, would you?” The old guy smirks.

Patton froze at the old nickname, having Logan take Roman inside and take all his brothers upstairs. His worst nightmare had become reality.

His father found him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton's father is back along with someone else. He doesn't know what to do or how to react, but he knows how to react when it comes to his children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: child abuse flashback (in bold), cursing, yelling  
> there is a quote there from a show, so do comment if you recognize it

“What are you doing here?” Patton asks him, trying to keep his voice firm but inside he was scared and was close to reverting to his old self.

“Well, I have been searching for you for about five years,” He states and walks inside, slightly shoving Patton away, “It was hard to find you, but I found out you were still in communication with an old friend back home. The idiot told me where you were located and here I am. Oh, and your mother is also here. Honey?” He calls out.

Patton looks back outside and he sees his mother walk over, her aged face cracking a small smile.

“Hello son,” She says softly.

“Mother,” Patton says firmly, only being able to stand up to her. 

“Still have that rudeness of yours,” She says and sighs, “You never were a good child.”

His mother walks in also, not even caring that she wasn’t invited. Patton walked in, keeping his keys close to him in case he needed to protect himself or his boys. 

“You saw me, you can leave now,” Patton says, walking ahead of them and standing in front of them, his pose defensive.

“Now, I heard you had sons,” His mother, Alicia, says and smiles over at him, “I want to meet them.”

“So do I. I want to see into what you’ve turned them into,” His father, Marcus, smirks and looks at him with cold eyes.

“Absolutely not!” Patton exclaims at them, gaining confidence suddenly, “You will not come near my sons at all. They should not be around monsters like you.”

“Why so harsh?” Alisha asks and looks at Patton, “We have the right to meet our grandchildren.”

“You have no right, not in my house,” Patton tells her firmly, hearing footsteps nearby.

“Dad?” A small, timid voice says, making them turn their heads to the stairs.

“Virgil,” Patton says softly, walking towards him and glares at his mother as she tries to walk towards him, “Go to Logan’s room, stay there. None of you are supposed to come out.”

“But you could get hurt,” He says, looking at him with frightened eyes, “At least let us stay in the kitchen. De and Ro can be close by to protect you.”

Before Patton can respond, the other three come out and Patton knows he won’t change their minds. He loves them so much, but they can be so stubborn and irresponsible at times. He gives a defeated sigh, having them stand on his sides, a few steps behind from him.

“These are my sons,” Patton says coldly, his warm voice gone, “Don’t you dare touch them. Both of you even put a finger on them, I will toss you out,” He tells them, glaring at both his mother and father.

“I’m Logan,” Logan introduces himself, a stoic expression on that was only out when in serious situations.

“Declan,” He spits out, glaring maliciously at what he should call ‘grandparents’.

“Roman,” He growls out, standing near Virgil to protect him.

“Virge,” Virgil says quietly, not looking at either them, standing slightly behind Roman.

“Such rude boys,” Alicia tuts and looks at Patton, “Why did you raise them as such? They’re just like you when you were young.”

“Excuse you, my boys are the most respectful, caring, sympathetic group of young men you will ever meet!” Patton snaps at her, “They are acting this way because, like me, they can see the horrible monster you two are.”

Patton stares at them, having Declan and Logan stay behind him, seeing how Declan was ready to lunge for any moment. 

“Logan, De, call Remy to see if he can give Virgil a ride to see Picani,” Patton tells them, wanting them far away from his parents, “Roman, would you go with your brothers also? Picani would be thrilled to see you too.”

“Dad-”

“Do as I say right now,” Patton says firmly, taking out his wallet, turning around to give Logan the gas money he owed Remy, “I’ll see you tonight when you come back. I’ll text Picani to give you a ride back.”

“I can drive, Pat,” Logan says softly, “I have my license, remember?”

“Yes, I know, but please just do as I say,” Patton whispers and kisses their cheeks, leading them towards the door, “Be safe, and if Remy can’t take you, then come back for the keys, Logan.”

Logan nods and leads his brothers out as he was on the phone with Remy, having to shove Declan slightly to get him to leave. Patton closed the door and looked at Marcus and Alicia, his confidence slightly dying down.

“What exactly did you come here for?” Patton asks them once more, “Do you want money? I’ll give it to you. Wanted to just see me? Then you already saw me.”

“It has been many years, Patton,” Alicia says and turns to him before she sat on his couch, “Why don’t we catch up?”

“Exactly, Patton. Is it bad we want to see you?” His father grins, the fatherly grin he would give Patton to manipulate him as a child.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Patton exclaims, walking over, “You two have no business in my personal life! If you really cared about it, you two would have been better parents!”

Patton walks over to them, standing in front of them, staring down at them with genuine shock. They still had their old manipulative ways and wanted to guilt trip him as they always did. People say that with time, people change. That is a load of bullshit to Patton at the moment, seeing as time only made their parents worse.

“Why did you leave us so early?” Alicia whimpers, faking ‘motherly’ tears.

“I left because you were abusive!” Patton yells at her, “You never stood up for your only son! You left me alone in the hands of this monster many times, you let him hit me!” His voice cracks, trying his best to hold back tears, “You two never cared for me…”

_**-** _

_**Patton cried out in pain at the feeling of the cable being whipped on his back. He begged his father to stop, he apologized countless times for running around with muddied shoes.** _

_**“You dirty child! If you want to be all muddied, then go out to be with the pigs!” His father shouts and picks him up by his arm, dragging him to where he left tracks, “Look at this! Get to cleaning!” He huffs and drops him, walking away.** _

_**Patton sobbed on the floor, his back aching and burning from the hits. He looked up as he heard footsteps, seeing his mother.** _

_**“Ma-mama…” He sobbed and held up his arms, “H-h-hurt!”** _

_**“Should’ve listened to your father,” She whispers, backing away, “Why are you always provoking him?” She asks softly, shaking her head as she leaves,  “Clean your mess.”** _

_**Patton cried out for her, not being able to run after her. He just laid there, crying his small eyes out, wanting the comforting touch of a parent.** _

_**He was only six.** _

_**-** _

Patton snapped back to the present when he felt something close to him. He shook his head and backed away slightly as his father was standing up. He stared at him wide-eyed, terrified of what would happen.

“We did everything we could, but you were stubborn as always. You were an ungrateful child,” His father spat as he stood up, “Always making a mess of everything.”

To that, that comment, made his blood boil and for just a split second, he forgot about his fears.

“Well, that’s a load of crap,” Patton retorted, “Who the hell are you to say that?”

“I’m your father,” He responded, “and you show your father respect, boy.”

“The day he deserves it!” Patton yells at him, standing his ground, “You drunken bully! Hitting and manipulating children, abusing his family! Same goes for you,  _ Alicia!  _ Is that what they called parenthood in your days?!”

“You deserved it. As I said, you were nothing but ungrateful.”

“I WAS A KID!” Patton shouts by now, his hands shaking, “Kids aren’t supposed to be grateful! They’re supposed to eat your food and break your heart, you selfish dick!” He pants, staring at his shocked face, even it was for a second, “I left you and Alicia, and I grew up. I grew up to be someone. However, I was so afraid of commitments, and I was so afraid I’d turn into you that I never even had kids of my own.”

“That’s good,” Marcus chuckles and smirks, “You break everything you touch.”

“Yeah,” Patton shakes his head, chuckling and looks at him, “Well, as faith would have it, I adopted four children. Four amazing children and they have grown up to be great! They will grow up to one day be heroes! So you can go to HELL!”

Patton pants, feeling completely drained of energy as he stares at his father straight in the eye. None of them acknowledged the door opening earlier, the four of them with Picani standing there, having watched everything unfold. 

“You are pathetic, always have been and always will be,” Marcus sneered, “You can be whoever you want to be, but I know who you are deep down.”

“Get out of my house,” Patton ordered him and Alicia, “I don’t want you back until you have actually changed. Or rather yet, stay out of my life. Disown me for all I care. I have better parents now. You two will never be my parents.” 

“Don’t worry, seems like we have nothing useful here,” He says, making Alicia stand up.

“I’m sorry about everything,” Alicia says, looking at Patton.

“I don’t believe you are,” Patton whispers, “and if you really are, I want you to prove it one day. Both of you, get out of my house.”

They both leave without another word, ignoring the boys. Marcus gives Picani a glare, who just gives back a cold one also. After the door is shut, Patton falls onto the couch, being mentally and physically exhausted. 

“Boys, leave me with your father,” Emile tells them, having them go upstairs.

“Did…” Patton swallows thickly, “Did Virgil not get his session?”

“He explained to me what was happening and we were both too worried to carry on,” Emile explains, sitting in front of him, using his spare handkerchief to wipe off the sweat on Patton’s forehead, “Let me get you some water and food in you. Afterward, you rest.”

“I can’t,” Patton whispers, even if his eyes were shutting from the exhaustion, “the boys need to eat dinner.”

“I will deal with that,” Emile informs him, “you are my priority right now. Come on, friend, let’s get something in you.”

Emile helps Patton to the table, sitting him down gently as he cooked up some simple scrambled eggs. Once Patton had eaten his eggs, drank some water, Emile took him up to his room. Patton fought against him, wanting to be with his boys, but soon gave in when Emile gave him a stern talk. He huffed and let himself be tucked in. In just a matter of seconds, he was out like a light.

Morning came quickly for Patton, who groaned at his headache when he woke up. He tried to sit up but felt a heavy weight on him. He frowned and reached for his glasses, his body relaxing at the sight. On his chest was Virgil’s head and arm, fast asleep. Next to Virgil was Roman, who seemed to be mumbling while dreaming. Near Roman’s feet was Declan, who was curled up in a fetal position and holding onto his IKEA snake. He frowned as he didn’t see Logan, who happened to just come in soon with a tray.

“You’re awake,” Logan whispers, smiling softly.

“Yeah, and with the company. When did you all come here?” Patton asks curiously.

“Well, after Dr. Picani left, which was after dinner, Virgil was unsettled about you being alone. We tried our best to reassure him that you were asleep and safe, so we planned a sleepover in my room since it’s the biggest out of us four,” Logan explains and chuckles, “Well, Virgil gave us a scare in the middle of the night when we couldn’t find him. We came to your room and he was right there on your chest. We decided to sleep with you and him, well, Roman decided. Declan and I followed suit.”

“Wow,” Patton chuckles, “well that is something.”

“It is,” Logan smiles fondly, “Hey, Pat?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you mean that about us being great and being heroes one day?”

“I do, and I know you all will, no matter what you do.”

“Well,” Logan blushes, “It’s all thanks to you. You’re our hero.”

Patton smiles at him and holds out his hand for him, humming as Logan gave it to him shyly. 

“Well, I’m here for you, no matter what happens. You four are my children, and I would give my life if it means saving you all.”

“Let us hope that never happens,” Logan says, “we need you to keep us whole.”

“I’m here.”

They smiled at each other, the quiet ambiance breaking when Roman rolled out of bed and fell onto the floor. They laughed and watched as a disgruntled Roman shot up quickly, looking around then blushed out of embarrassment.

Yeah, they would all be fine for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: ziallwarrior & sandersidesquotes


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan loves his family. He loves his siblings. He loves Patton.  
> But he also misses his old family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of death, mention of a car accident, mostly angst  
> This is Logan-centric and will most likely be for the next few chapters

It has been a whole two weeks after the whole ordeal with Patton’s parents and everything was back to normal. Normal in the Sanders household seems to mean waking up to early screaming, plates crashing, Declan yelling at Remy to get off of him once dropped off, Virgil needing to get away from all the noise, Roman reciting Shakespeare, and Logan bossing his brothers around?

Then yeah, everything was normal.

Patton did love his children, oh he very much did, but a house full of hormonal teenage boys is something to make one pull their hair out.

Logan watched fondly as his father figure ran around with Roman, who was carrying a screaming Declan like a bride. He looked over at his younger adopted sibling, who was filming the whole encounter and laughing. It was a normal day at the house, a normal weekend where they can all just relax and not worry about the outside world. Logan sighed, content with his life.

There were times where he loves his siblings, where he loves Patton and was glad he was adopted by him and not another parent. He was content with how he was able to push himself to be at the top of his class, always proud of himself with Patton congratulated him for getting a high score or for being Student Council President.

However, there were days where he missed his parents. He missed the soft kisses his mother would plant on his forehead, how his father picked him up over his head and pretended Logan was an astronaut. He missed the days where even when his parents came home tired, beaten and just wanting to sleep, they always tucked in Logan and read him bedtime stories. Logan held those memories close to him, he cherished every memory of his parents.

_-_

_“Mommy! Look!”_

_Logan ran over to his mother, who was cooking dinner, holding up a badly drawn picture of a rocket with an astronaut nearby._

_“Oh, sweetie! This is amazing!” His mother said in awe, lowering the flames and kneeled to his height, “Well, look at those details. The rocket looks so colorful, and is this you?” She asks as she points at the astronaut._

_“Yeah!” Logan replies excitedly, still bouncing and looked at her, eyes full of energy and pride._

_“Well, seems like we need to make sure you go to space school once you’re older,” His mom smiles and kisses his forehead, standing up and hanging it up on the fridge._

_Logan watched excitedly and ran back to his room, staring how the window as the sun was starting to set. He started to imagine how it must look from high up in space._

_-_

Logan snapped back to reality as his name was called on, now face-to-face with a concerned Patton, who was sitting next to him.

“My apologies seems like I was daydreaming,” Logan apologizes, sitting up to stretch, his book falling to the floor.

“Oh, okay. I was worried as you started crying,” Patton explains as he picks up his book.

Logan touches his cheek and sure enough, it was wet with tears. He wiped them quickly and took back his book, giving Patton small smile.

“Probably just one of those moments where one cries so suddenly for no reason,” Logan shrugs and clears his throat, “If you excuse me, I have some homework to do that is due Monday.”

Logan gets up quickly and leaves before Patton can comment, taking two steps at a time to get there quickly. Once he was in his room, he locked the door and took a seat near his desk. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling, remembering where each constellation was at, even during the day when you couldn’t see it. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

-

_“See those stars over there?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Those form what is called a constellation,” His father explains, smiling down at Logan._

_“What is a co-con-conte-contellation?” Logan tries sounding out, pouting as he knew he said it wrong._

_“Well, a constellation,” His father chuckles and looks up, “they are a group of stars that come together to form outlines. Basically, they form shapes that many years ago, some very smart people gave them names.”_

_“Wow…” Logan dragged out, looking up at the star-filled sky, “What is that?” He asks, pointing at one._

_“That is called Sagitta,” His father points out and smiles, “It’s so simple but very beautiful.”_

_“Daddy?”_

_“Yes, Lolo?”_

_“I like stars.”_

_“So do I. So do I.”_

-

Logan didn’t even know he was crying once more, not until he felt his tears go past his lips. He opened his eyes and let out a shaky sigh, letting his tears come out. He leaned forward, elbows now on his knees as he cried.

He missed his nights stargazing with his father. He missed the nights where he would camp out with his parents in the backyard and he would run around trying to catch a firefly. He missed the special dinners made when he would get a gold star for something as small as sharing. He missed the kisses. He missed the hugs.

He missed his parents most of all.

He missed his mother. He missed his father.

He missed his family.

Logan let out a heart-wrenching sob, covering his mouth as he sobbed. He didn’t want anyone to hear him, didn’t want to worry Patton. He honestly didn’t even want comfort at the moment. He just wanted to grieve by himself. Logan sobbed, letting the tears come down, not even bothering to wipe them.

From outside, Patton could hear him and it broke his heart to hear Logan like this. He knew he could never replace Logan’s father, having read up on who he was and how much he loved his only son. His mother was the same, she adored Logan with her whole being and would jump in front of a bullet for Logan. They were good people, taken early because of a reckless driver, leaving Logan an orphan.

Patton knows when Logan is like this, to not bother him. Last time he did, it ended with more people in tears and harsh words thrown around.

Patton sighs and knocks gently, however, leaning his forehead against his door, “Hey Logan, if you need me, I’m outside buddy. I’ll wait for you to come out. Just remember, you’re not alone,” He says in a gentle tone.

Logan sobs even harder, feeling so many emotions at once. He felt pure hatred towards the person who took his parents, empty without his parents, guilt for pushing away Patton and seeming ungrateful.

He just wanted to be held right now, wanted someone to stroke back his hair, wanted to cry on someone’s shoulder. All that could be done with someone, and that someone was outside the door. He got up, walking to the door, opening it and stared at Patton.

Patton stared at him, eyes filled with worry. Logan covered his mouth as a sob came out, laying his head on Patton’s shoulder and cried. Patton wrapped his arms around him, holding him close as they walked into Logan’s room.

“Oh Logan,” Patton whispers and kisses his forehead, rubbing his back.

“I-I…” Logan tries to talk, but he couldn’t form any words at the moment. The sadness was there, along with a twinge of anger.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Patton assures him, “We can just stand here and you can cry.”

Logan nods and holds onto Patton, crying on his shoulder. Patton just let him, running his hand through Logan’s hair, slowly and gently. They stood there for what seemed like a good while, until Logan stopped crying, tears having run dry.

“I miss my mom and dad,” Logan finally speaks, voice cracked.

“I know, Lo,” Patton sighs and looks down at him, “I know you do. They were amazing parents.”

“My dad loved stars,” Logan whimpers, “My mom loved flowers. They saw the beauty in such simple things that people take for granted,” He looks up at Patton, who was seemed to have tears of his own, “They worked...worked so hard to make me happy, no matter how little we had.”

“I know,” Patton smiles softly, wiping away small tears from Logan’s face, “I read about them in your file. Family members of yours only said positive things. They loved, _love,_ you with all their heart.”

“I know you have given me nothing but love and care,” Logan tells him, backing away and sighs shakily, “and I feel so guilty when I think back and wish how I was with them instead.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty about,” Patton insisted, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Yes, it might hurt me at times, but Logan, they were your parents. You will want to be with them, you will want them to hug you and comfort you more than anyone else. You have nothing, _absolutely nothing_ , to feel guilty about.”

Logan looks back at him, a small chuckle escaping him, soon laughing and shaking his head. Patton chuckled awkwardly at Logan’s sudden outburst but gave a small ‘oof’ as he was suddenly hugged. Patton hums and hugs Logan, looking at him.

“How do you always know how to comfort us?”

“I’m a counselor at the Juvenile Center,” Patton chuckles and grins, “also, because I am a parent. One day you’ll understand, but it is my job to make sure all my children are happy, and that they know that I am always here for them.”

“Thank you, Pat,” Logan whispers, nuzzling his face into his chest.

“There is no need to thank me, Lo,” Patton laughed, ruffling his hair.

“Hey!” Logan laughed and pulled away, trying to fix his hair.

-

_Logan giggled and laughed happily as his father picked him up and carried him around like an astronaut in their lawn, making rocket noises. His mother was tending to her small flower bed, watching over fondly at her two favorite boys._

_“Daddy! Higher!” Logan laughed, making sure his helmet stayed on._

_“Roger that, Commander Logan,” His father said in a much deeper voice, holding him as high as he could._

_“To the moon!”_

_“Roger!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: ziallwarrior & sandersidesquotes

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: ziallwarrior & sandersidesquotes


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